Dig A Pony

I DON'T GET THE NAME; I have tried and failed to enter this bar on numerous occasions. It is the quintessential young, hip place to be for the gorgeous 20 somethings of Portland. Being over 30 and fairly dorky, I cant seem to make an appearance there fly. I need to sit, I need a patio probably, and I need to not be surrounded by hot girls in gold lame hotpants. Don't get me wrong, I respect this place, and the fabulous fashions that are on display on the chests, legs and manicured feet of it's patrons. But seriously...I'm just strait up too old. So I went there on a sunny afternoon with an equally old friend to revel both in our adulthood and burgers, respectively.

BURGER; Okay, I was shocked when the burger of the house was served on an Thomas' English Muffin. Assured that it was spectacular by both the server and my companion, I ordered up. And thank goodness. This unique burger is easily going to make the best of 2012 list. The aforementioned english muffin was slathered in a housemade chipotle aioli reminiscent of a 1000 island. The burger patty was beautifully seasoned, layered with a spicy spring mix, purple onion and ripe red tomato, and enveloped in a white cheddar that was neither cloying nor scene-stealing. The components, including the muffin, worked a certain magic will assure my continued patronage, regardless of my old age.

FRIES; The house cut fries that we've come to expect. Well made, well seasoned and an easy compliment to the burger.

SERVICE; Order at the bar, no frills. And naturally the barstaff is impossibly good looking, so if you are my age and/or at my dork level, go early and avoid feeling like a elderly weirdo.

LOCATION; Dig A Pony 736 SE Grand Avenue www.digaponyportland.com

EastBurn and The Server Of My Dreams

OVERVIEW; While trying to catch an episode of Portlandia on the patio of this fine establishment, an attractive, attentive and altogether amazing sever made sure we were plugged in, volume up and front row seated. Meanwhile, I saw plate after plate of better-than-bar-food travel past our table. The combination of that angel of a server and the smell memories I had collected while embracing my city's nationally loved quirkiness on the patio's big screen tv had me posted up the very next afternoon for the most beloved of all brunches; the burger beer brunch.

BURGER; Prepare your buds, people. Theses burgers are seasoned with a fervor that treads dangerously into meatloaf territory. But Eastburn's patty walks the line between essential ground beef goodness and heavily seasoned madness so gracefully you will likely question everything you thought you knew about balls of charbroiled beef. Perched on a Grand Central cibatta roll, with infinite nooks and crannies to absorb that heavily flavored beef juice as well as the fresh juice of a hothouse tomato, paper thin white onion and garden fresh butter lettuce, we may have located a little slice of burger nirvana on SE Burnside, y'all.

FRIES; The great house cut taters that we've become so accustomed to in Portland bars. Great flavor, cooked perfectly. Not a mealy, lackluster fry in the bunch.

SERVICE; Remember that fellow I mentioned in the overview?I had the privilege of having him as my afternoon burger server. I can't speak to the other waitstaff, but this guy is the absolute model of a perfect server. Intuitive, witty and personable. I would empty my wallet every day for service so perfect. I wish him the very best in life, and if you've ever had service as perfect as the service I am describing then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

WHERE; Eastburn
1800 E Burnside
Portland, OR 97214
503-236-2876
www.theeastburn.com