Portland Burger Week in Review!

I ALMOST ATE THE WHOLE THING; And I really would have had a handful of kitchens not grossly underestimated the sheer burger consuming power of Portland during burger week. Victory Bar sold out of their burger an hour after they opened their doors and, understandably, quickly threw in the towel. Widmer Bros had signs in their windows regretfully declining burger specials after lunch time and Rockin Robyn strait called in sick. I bullied my way up to the bar at The White Owl 3 nights in a row attempting to secure their vegan beet burger, but they had repeatedly sold out. Obviously, I was denied all three times. All things considered, I still managed to do some respectable damage to my lower GI tract at Foster Burger, Ate-Oh-Ate, TILT, Club 21, The Alberta St. Pub, Slow Bar and Pause. My biggest takeaways from Burger Week are:

• Some places are gonna shine, other places are gonna whine
• There is a thing as too much cheese
• It's maybe not a great idea to eat burgers 7 days in a row.

Damnit, there were some life changing, event burgers happening during burger week. If I may, my top 3 Portland Burger Week burgers are (drumroll)..

#3 TILT's The  BIG TILT

Welcome to swan island A.K.A. layer upon layer of sloppy burger mayhem. Double patties? Check. Triple buns? Check. Bigger than your face? Check.  Even though a little part of me wants to never see it again (probably the part that lives in my GI tract), the bigger part is like, "I'm gonna eat that burger so hard, like, once, maybe twice a year". Here's to hoping this beast-mode-big-mac will make it's way on to their everyday menu.
Click here for the review of the BIGTILT

#2 Alberta St. Pub's Elk Burger

Once I got over the shocking renovation of what used to be one of the more dependable dives on Alberta, I could really enjoy this gamey take on burger week. Though the fancy dressings were lost behind the grassy meat, the patty was fantastic enough to more than make up for the lack of pickled cherrys and chaterelle aioli.
Click here for the review of Alberta St. Pub.

#1 Ate-Oh-Ate's Spam Musubi Burger

Truly the one transcendent, eye rolling, tear jerking moment of Portland Burger Week. Whereas I have never been a fan of spam, I am now a convert. Everything about this burger was harmonious. It was simple greatness. Dear Ate-Oh-Ate, Please-Oh-Please put the spam musubi burger on your regular menu.
Click here for my review of Ate-Oh-Ate




Naturally there were some disappointing moments during burger week; the aforementioned premature closures, some less than awesome offerings and the wait times. Honorable mentions include:

• Slow Bar (duh)
• Club 21 (who knew?)
• Pause (what up dark horse?)

My last burger of burger week was had at Pause. In a bittersweet moment of closure, one of the chefs came and chatted with me about what a cluster f*ck burger week was for all the participating restaurants. How nearly none of them had anticipated just how slammed their dining rooms would be, or how backed up their tiny kitchens would get, or how exhausted their entire staffs would be before dinner service was halfway through. Though I know just how tough it was for some of these places, the reward must be so much greater. People going all the way to swan island for a burger? Heck yeah! Scene kids, punks and foodies all hunched over Perkins Burgers at perennial old man bar, Club 21. Diversity! A line out the door at Foster Burger? Well, that's just annoying, but you catch my drift. I can only imagine how many people who may never have seen the inside of these restaurants otherwise, now might have a new favorite restaurant. I know I do (I'm looking at you Ate-Oh-Ate)

Portland Burger Week Edition; The Big TILT

TILT IN MY MOUF! I'm loving Swan Island more and  more these days. On my first visit to TILT, I was really taken by what I still think is some of Portland's most arresting scenery. An industrial hub nestled beside a sparkling blue river encompassed by an emerald green forest. It's like a weird, dystopian oasis that you can ride your bike through. TILT is an oasis within an oasis, not only serving some noteworthy burgers, but cranking out granny approved baked goods AND biscuit brunches for days y'all. Days...Totally worth the surreal drive to the center of everywhere/middle of nowhere.

BURGER: A bold contribution to burger week, The Big TILT is Swan Island's answer to a Big Mac. Custom baked buns ( 3 of them! Fluffy as glazed donuts!), 2 patties, a heap of shredded lettuce, tomatoes, fresh pickles, thick cut bacon (*deep breath*), a fried egg, a curtain of gooey american cheese and, yes yes y'all, secret sauce like a muhhhh. Everything in perfect excess, balancing on the precise line between artistry and farce.  Look at how glorious that monster is! I broke into a slow clap 2 bites in, and shot a double thumbs up to the entire restaurant.

FRIES: Spot on batter fries, but when you're playing a game like this you might want to stick to colesalw. That being said, the jalapeno slaw is a slam dunk. Spice-phobes need not fear it, the razor thin jalapenos are crisp and mild.

SERVICE; With a smile! And the air conditioned dining room is a dream. These cats have burger week handled. Respect.

TILT: 3449 N.Anchor St., Suite 200 Portland. www.tiltitup.com

Despite Their Facade, TILT Does Indeed Serve Burgers and Not Vacuums

SWAN ISLAND FOR BURGERS? REALLY? Heck yes. At the confluence of the Columbia and the Willamette rivers, Swan Islands's terminal is a bustling center of commerce. Everything is coming and going, being exported and imported. Needless to say, it's flush with container ships, big rigs and millworks, but devoid of any culinary fulfillment.  Enter TILT, a rouge eatery, ingeniously located in Portland's highly employed shipping epicenter, where no other eatery has dared to inhabit.

BURGER; Tender, flavorful and well armed with cheddar, iceberg, tomato, pickle and signature TILT onions (mildly pickled, sliced onions). For an extra kick in the pants I wear in my mouth, I added their housemade jalapeno slaw to my burger. Satisfaction achieved. It's worth mentioning that aside from some seriously decadent menu burgers, they also offer a small version of their 1/3 lb burgers, which are admittedly pretty hard to get your mouth around. Companions were thrilled with their smaller burgers, while I fought what felt like an epic battle with mine. Don't worry, I won and it was the best fight I've had in a while.

FRIES; Classic batter fries were crispy and salty goodness. And apportioned generously. Perhaps a bit too much so, but when your main consumer is a dock worker, warehouse worker or ravenous office worker, I suppose it makes sense to pile 'em on.

SERVICE; I had a real hard time with the structure of the menu, but the counter person was so patient. She essentially had to hold my hand and walk me through the ordering process, which says something more about the strangely structured menu than it does about my reading comprehension. Otherwise, the team seemed chipper, and attentive, without hovering.

WHERE; 3449 N.Anchor St., Suite 200 Portland. www.tiltitup.com