Portland Burger Week: Slow Bar

Slow Bar is the first place I think to recommend when anyone asks me where to grab a burger. And bahn mi is a Vietnamese sandwich I used to get in Anaheim, CA that I dream of to this day. Naturally the combination of these two things had my salivators salivating. I mean, Slow Bar kills it every time, right? Right? RIGHT?

Well, not really. The savory signature Slow Bar beef was significantly less savory than usual, the heavy slaw mixture that is probably the most recognizable feature of the bahn mi (beside the namesake bread) was conspicuously light. And the sesame brioche was far too sweet, it quickly became cloying. This was a very obvious attempt at a simple, easy to churn out burger-week burger, and the unfortunate result is the best burger in town phoning it in. Hold up though, Slow Bar crushed burger week last year, so they get a pass this year.  I still love Slow Bar and I will continue to tell everyone to always go there. They transcend burger week.

Portland Burger Week is an annual event that showcases some of Portland's favorite burgers. Participating bars, restaurants and cafes offer specially crafted burgers for $5 each. You can see a full list of Burger Week offerings here

Slow Bar Burgers Could Change Your Life

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?; For months I've been logging burger pics on my facebook account, and for months my homie Zack (author of RADICAL food blog nomoresickfriends) told me I was not a burger professional until I ate a storied "SlowBurger" from the Slow Bar. So I did. Then I went back 3 days later and did it again.

BURGER; On visit one, I had the seasonal special, the "fall slowburger". It was so devastating that upon first bite, I shed a single greasy tear of joy. It was a thoughtfully conceived autumnal burger with edam cheese, procuittio, a cheeky little slaw, and roasted red pepper relish. Poetically seasoned and served perfectly medium rare, I swear I swooned after the first bite.
On visit two I got the signature slowburger. Less devastating, but still pretty earth shaking. It shares many of it's seasonal bro's attributes, but with gyuyere and butter lettuce. Bottom line; It's a delicious burger topped with a stupidly huge onion ring.

FRIES; Pretty dope. But I prefer the salad (local greens with a oh-my-dang-this-is-delicious house vinaigrette and spiced nuts).

SERVICE; Friendly and a little stern too, in that great way that Portland waitstaffs can be. The place is tiny and intimate, and full of "very mature 22 year olds" ( you can read into that any way you want). It's a borderline romantic date spot but it's a dark bar, so if you go alone, don't bring a book.

WHERE; 533 SE Grand Avenue, Portland. slowbar.net