Saturday, December 31, 2011

On Deck Sports Bar's Infinite Dissapointment

SHEEESH; While burger shopping the area a while back, I found On Deck. Located on the upper floor of it's faux posh building in The Pearl, with quite the expanse of rooftop seating, this joint's menu looked so amazing I almost jammed inside to burger-up right then and there. Sadly (for me) it was a game night and thus loud as all heck and packed to the rafters. I vowed to come back, and two burger blogs later, I did. Unfortunately my experience here was marred by my own expectations, which I had built up over a few weeks. Let me tell you all about it...

BURGER; When I spotted the juicy lucy burger on the menu a few weeks back, I knew what future On Deck held for me. It wanted to squirt hot cheese into my gaping maw. And I wanted to let it. What arrived before me after my anticipatory wait was a plain white roll, one limp green leaf, brown at it's edges, a pale, mealy tomato and thick slices of white onion. The beef was cheap. I was terribly afraid after a few bites that I may break a tooth on a floating bone shard or formidable chunk of well done gristle. While my burger offered an acceptable amount of gooey american cheese buried in it's overcooked meatwad, my companion was nearly halfway through his burger before he hit cheesy paydirt, and when he found that cheese, it was such a paltry amount that he actually considered sending the whole thing back. Hunger got the best of him and he powered through, with the frown of a man done wrong by a burger. These burgers were not made with love or respect and it showed.

FRIES; Frozen, run of the mill fries. Absolutely nothing memorable about them. The salad was a handful of chopped romaine with a couple of sliced cucumbers and shredded carrots.

SERVICE; Cheery if not perfectly attentive. This is a loud, sports bar, and even on a lazy afternoon when the Ducks or the Beavers or the Blazers arent playing on one of the trillion flat screens that literally consume the entire place, those televisions will still be screaming at you the entire time you're there. Pearl District dwelling sports fans, as I'm sure you already know, this seems like a great place to scream at your fave team and commiserate over brews, but only order the burger if you're too drunk to give a rats ass about what it tastes like. Full Bar, kid friendly in designated areas.

WHERE; 910 NW 14th Avenue, Portland, OR


  1. I had the displeasure of having a chicken burger there. Although it was quite edible, I had come to the same conclusion. There is no passion, extra care, or heartfelt effort in delivering a nice plate of food.

    Thanks for helping us find the gems and avoid the duds!

  2. Guy, It is my honor and privilege to provide such valuable info. Burgers for life.